People May Not Care That You're Away...

You know when you haven't blogged in a long time and there's just too much to catch up on so why even bother? Yeah, that's kinda what I'm going through at the moment. Something like 16 of the last 25 days have been spent in the Pac Northwest, the place I used to call home that I love and miss very much. I am very reluctant to leave. The trip was a lot of work, and a lot of fun; the best of times, the toughest of times; some laughter (drunk), some tears (drunk, not drunk, hungry). Better than Cats and all that shit.

I'm on the plane heading back to Chicago, and I'm exhausted. During the week I was up late and up early for work stuff; on the weekends I was out late catching up with friends. Instead of boring you all with the play-by-plays (wedding receptions, speeding tickets, celebrity sightings, jogging while intoxicated, you know - the usuals) I'm instead reviewing some of the memorable words said in my presence or texted to me over the course of my trip.

Share them with you? OK, but only because you've insisted. Note: some of the names of the guilty have been redacted to save embarassment.

1. "Like the Doobie Brothers, I'm Taking It To The Streets" (MK, referring to his weekend)
2. "I'm also giving you a ticket for aggressive driving" (Washington State Trooper, who gave me a ticket for going 80 in a 60 somewhere outside of Olympia)
3. "I AM Julie Andrews!" (Kate at the Alibi Room)
4. "That's the problem with christian rock -- you think you're listening to Goo Goo Dolls or Sarah McLachlan and then suddenly it's too late" (PG, referring to the horrible radio options on the drive from Seattle to Portland)
5. "It's a Boston Thing -- you wouldn't understand" (said by me and Kate to Recken at the Alibi Room)
6. "I met a homeless guy with no thumbs the other night" (texted to me out of nowhere by GFC)
7. "[C]R will have a boyfriend before you do" (Dave to Recken, when discussing possible wedding dates)
8. "I should have at least removed my SPANX" (SS, referring to some other stuff we don't really need to get into)
9. "I woke up and had no idea what was going on - I walked into the kitchen to take a dump" (MK, referring to his Sunday morning)
10. "This is the first I have heard the term 'Cock Block' and will be incorporating it in to my everyday worklife as often as possible" (SS via e-mail)
11. "That song is Spunky. And I need to inject some Spunk into my life this summer" (me, to Erin, referring to this)
12. "She doesn't like Shia LeBouf??? Why the fuck does anyone have a problem with Shia LeBouf??" (RK)
13. "Hurricane!!" (Recken)
14. "Vaginal discharge" (texted to me by a guy on my blogroll who shall remain nameless during a very important work meeting)
15. "The 80s called and they want their shoes back" (SR, referring to these)
16. "I want my own Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa!" (MA, while listening to Vampire Weekend)
17. "I can't serve you shots of vodka because that's against the rules. However, I can serve you tumblers of vodka over ice if you'd prefer" (by the bartender and Erin & Ryan's reception)
18. "I'm embarrassed to ride in your car with you!" (AR, referring to my piece of shit rental car)
19. "I've been duped by Newton Faulkner!" (me to Ryan & Erin, after purchasing the less-than-stellar new NF CD)
20. "We'll be a power couple in Boston!" (Recken)

Hiya Kids:

For the sake of my remaining 12 readers who are now contemplating leaving this blog in the dust, I thought it prudent to post and say hello.

Things have been hella busy. I've pretty much forgotten how to blog, and I haven't been reading anybody else's (the Google Reader count for unread posts from my blogroll at left is something like 220).

I'm in Seattle and have been for the last week. Yesterday was the culmination of a major work project/event which had been progressively taking up more and more of my time. And I'm exhausted - instead of celebrating the success of the event, I attended a work reception where I didn't eat or drink, and my evening ended with me laying on my hotel bed at midnight, enjoying a dinner of M&Ms and potato chips (seriously).

But now that it's done, things will slow down. Heading back to Chicago next Tuesday, so although it has been busy it is awesome spending two weeks in the Pacific Northwest. Fresh air, good friends and all that bullshit. Hopefully no pig statue riding this time, though.*

Two of my best friends in the world had their wedding reception last weekend in Portland. Enough material there to write a dozen posts about how awesome it was. And I purchased a new suit for it on a whim. I am a bit of a dandy.

I did well during Finals week last week. Not great, but good. Considering how little time I had to devote to studying and preparing presentations and papers, I am content.

Awright, gotta go into another debriefing meeting. Then tomorrow I'll be driving down to Portland (again) for a long weekend. Of the last four weekends, three of them have been/will be spent down there, which is Proper.

* Although I can really never rule that possibility out, especially since tonight I'm hanging with ReckenRoll who got me into that kind of trouble in the first place.

Random

[this photo has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was funny and it is one of Recken's neighbours]

It's 12:45 on Friday night/Saturday morning. And I was studying but I don't feel like it anymore. I could go home and sleep but the coffee and bag of M&Ms (and not a little bag - one of those big ones) I had for dinner have me feeling, well, awake. So I will continue to hang here at Starbucks with all the other complete losers.

To add insult to injury, it is a beautiful night here in Chicago, and Classy invited me to experience the freakshow spectacle of Looptopia. Rubber monkey puppets and M.A.D.D. Rhythms' Tapethetically Speaking rhythm nation tapdancing vibe? Normally I'd be all up in that shit, but I gots to study. Meissner corpuscles and interventricular foramina aren't going to learn my brain all by themselves, if you know what I'm saying.

I've been thinking about my week, reflecting on some of the more random things that I've experienced. Share them with you? Sure, but only because you are insisting. In no particular order:

• I woke up on Thursday and realized that I hadn't had a shower since Tuesday. As I normally shower at least once a day, I still cannot figure out how I let the hell that one slip by. See, this is the problem with working alone and generally being anti-social -- there's nobody around to tell you that you smell.

• Tuesday night I had a disturbing dream that I was drowning. To the point that I remember that horrible sensation of water filling my lungs and not being able to breathe. This is especially peculiar since I'm a good swimmer and have I've always believed that it would be impossible for me to drown even in the worst circumstances. Guess not.

• Another weird dream I had yesterday: I finally met Neil Finn in a hotel lobby (Crowded House is back in Chicago next weekend and I'm sad because I'm missing the show as I will be out of town. My love for Neil and Crowded House is well-documented). Anyway, in the dream I blathered to him how much I loved him and his music and he's a genius and blah, blah, blah and I actually started crying in the dream. WTF?

• Speaking of WTF and crying, on the treadmill the other day watching CNN (there's only so much VH-1 I can watch) and it was a report on New Orleans and I started crying. At the gym. On the treadmill. In front of other people.

• Anybody remember that song "Steel Claw" by Ms. Tina Turner? Yes? No? Well if not, you best be looking it up because it is the Shit. "It doesn't matter when you're lying in the gutter... It's what you get for messing with the steel claw." Damn, that's poetry right there.

• My roommate is a sweet girl and she recently found me on Facebook (still not sure how that happened...). But if she sends me one more fucking hug/happy hour/teddy bear/"what kind of car/ice cream/pony are you?" bullshit invite application I will take a hammer to her keyboard.

• At school I got an actual love note passed to me. It was like being in high school all over again (except I never got love notes passed to me in high school but nevermind). I'll spare all the details but it read along the lines of: "I see you in the library and cafeteria and if you want to hang out this summer call me..." If this person only knew I was probably twice her age she'd probably throw up. But anyway, I guess the attention from barely legal girls can be flattering? Or not? Nevermind.

• Can pink eye be caused from stress? Cuz there's something not pretty happening yesterday and today with my left eye.

• Also, I have a goddamned pimple in my ear. Seriously. WTF?
  

Thanks and have a good weekend.

I Have No Title For This Post

I need to take a few days off from blogging.

Work is kicking my ass (my 25 hour-per-week contract has stretched into 35 hours-per-week to prepare for a major work event in two weeks).

School is kicking my ass (quiz tonight, term paper due Monday, A&P final exam on Monday, final presentation on Wednesday).

So I leave you with the below, which I think really captures in a single photo the essence of my Friday evening in Seattle:

[Photo courtesy of Recken.]

All I can say is: It's a stuggle, livin' like a good boy oughta.

That, and: I'm Nobody's Monkey Boy.

Proper, bitches.

Going West

I'm off to Seattle for work for the rest of the week, then down to Portland for the weekend.

Very excited.

It will be good to get to both places, since Portland used to be home and I haven't been to Seattle in more than 3 years. Getting a good healthy dose of the Familiar will do me some good. On the agenda:

• good Thai food (seriously, they're few & far between in Chicago)


• many cocktails in Belltown with the Wingman and Kate


• a cow chip cookie while I peruse Elliot Bay Company


• Powell's, bitches!


• not hanging out in a women's bathroom with Not Carrie


• a little somethin-somethin from Local 35


• a stiff drink from Muu-Muus or a beer at Doug Fir. Or both.


• a run through Forest Park


• American Dream Pizza

Yeah, there's no way I will get through half of the above, but we're going to give it a shot.

Bring It!

Ghost of Myself

Not a Reliable Narrator posted the other day about what would happen if her teenage self could look into the future to see her current self, what would the teenage self think? Or the 20-something self?

It of course got me thinking about how I would answer. I think if either my teenage or my 20-something self were to spend 24 hours with me today and engage me in conversation, this would happen:

• Teen Self: "Wow, you're kinda sad. Why should I even bother trying to get through high school and college if this is how you are going to end up?"
• 20-Something Self: "Dude, what the hell is going on with you? I thought we were making real progress here. We've got good friends, on the path to a kick-ass job... Plus, we lost all that baby fat."

I'm kinda joking here, but there's some truth to it. My life right now is pretty strange and messed up. Compared to a few years ago, when I had a comfortable job (and while it didn't leave me very fulfilled, it did provide me with smart, funny and generally great co-workers and great opportunities that made it easy to get through the day); I lived in a city I loved surrounded by good friends; I owned my own home.

Today, I work for myself so that I can also take classes (which can be incredibly stressful and leaves me spending most of my day alone); going to school (after completing my Masters, it is someplace I never wanted to be again, and I grow continually frustrated at the amount of time it will take me to get my degree); am single; am living in a place I don't necessarily want to be; choose not to deal very well with my father's health issues; break down into tears almost daily ('cuz I find the best way to deal with tough situations is to cry); have a few good friends here in Chicago but I don't usually feel very social (most of whom don't know the "old" me, who I liked better than the "current" me); rent a tiny bedroom in an apartment I share with two other people (neither of whom I am overly friendly with) so that I can save money for school.

And most days I'm actually pretty OK with all of this. Not thrilled, obviously, but I'm in this strange situation because I made the choices - about my life, my relationships, and my career - that put me here. So I'm doing the mature thing and dealing with it. Getting through it.

Whatevs. It is late and I am tired and I still have to study for a quiz tomorrow and try and catch a plane.

(Back to regularly scheduled [Cherry]-ness tomorrow.)

Earth Day

Happy Earth Day!Here's how I'll be celebrating:

1. Taking Wendell G. out for an all-natural fruit smoothie.
2. Doing this to every SUV driver I see (except I'll be flipping the "V" instead of the finger).
3. Choosing not to shower today. Or use toilet paper.*

Proper.

* This is really no different than any other day, though.